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Dear FutureMe

Dear HyeWon.

I want to say thank you first for taking a courage to open this letter since I know you are the person who must have been afraid of feeling sense of shame reading my expectations toward you. Don't worry, I'm not going to write anything that can put a lot on your head or hurt you.
You must have gone through a lot of change during the last year. No matter what you did or accomplished, thank you for your effort. I know you are not satisfied with what you have done and feeling guilty for not doing your best on your life comparing yourself with your friends as always. But remember, life is about waiting for the right moment to act. Everyone in this world works based on their time zone. Though you feel you are far behind others, everyone is actually running their 'own' race, in their own time. Don't think that you already failed. Just continue on what you are doing and focus on yourself, not others, since you are doing everything you can do in your time zone. Besides, God leads your way, and you will eventually be doing 'what he really want you to do for him'. Anxiety is definitely not the emotion that you should feel if you genuinely believe in God's perfect plan for you. So relax.
Don't think I'm not telling you what I really think in order to just console you thinking 'I'm not that great person to relax and just believe in what God can do for me. Since I didn't do my best, I don't deserve any comfort or God's plan'. You really ARE an amazing person. You know and always try to objectively evaluate yourself based on your observation. You just don't 'study' following others' directions but independently think your will and what you 'really' want to do. You try to learn rather than to complain or settle for the situation you are in. Though you might look shabby now than others externally, you must have and will improve internally a lot, and it is better than anything. But the most important thing is that, you are a person who tries to solve the problematic situation or achieve a goal independently alone. Think about it. You studied SAT and school exams, prepared for KMLA entrance, and is overcoming a depression alone, without others' help. I am so proud of you. Don't be discouraged or think you are a failure. You have achieved a lot of things for 19 years.
It is so natural for humans to make mistakes and commit a fault. But only people who have achieved inner growth can recognize problems and try to fix them, not blaming others. You are that kind of person, a person who always find an element that can make you grow in every situation, no matter how it is small or big. But the problem is that you blame yourself too much and suffer from a guilty conscience even though you don't have to. I don't want to say that you should not feel guilty, but it is necessary for you to forget about the situation after you have learned from it.
HyeWon, you are doing great job. Don't be so anxious or think you are a failure.
I love you.


-From you



Comments

  1. Good letter. I'm sure it will give you some positive impact when you receive it again. And don't worry about "perfect plans." They don't exist. Perfectly imperfect is the only true perfection.

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